Where's the glamor?

Here I was - newly trained and eager to fly.  I was ready to see the world and live the glamorous life.  Boy was I quickly given a reality check.  My first day as an official flight attendant I got airport standby.  It's anything but glamorous.  Let me back up...

Right out of training you are the new hires/newbies/fresh meat.  Whatever the term it boils down to you are clueless and everyone (including seasoned travellers) know it.  I was on reserve (on call - you only know the days you are on call - you don't know anything else) and anxiously awaiting my first assignment.  I get airport standby.  No flights - no fantastic layover in Honolulu - nothing.  I get to go to the airport and sit in the flight attendant lounge for 5 hours.  Yes, I said 5 hours.  It's standard procedure for scheduling to have 3-9 reserve flight attendants sitting in the lounge for the "just in case" situations.  Sometimes it's great, sometimes not so much.  My first time I got a flight from New York to Denver.  Not too terrible actually.  My crew was fantastic but very senior (EVERYONE was senior to me at this point).

I get on the plane, stow my luggage and get ready to board.  I am so excited!  Then the gates of Hell open and boarding commences.  Oh my gawd.  It was utter chaos.  People had no idea where to sit (it was assigned seating), where to put luggage (um, overhead bin perhaps), and one guy didn't know his name - seriously.  We had a seat dupe (two people assigned the same seat) and I asked the man his name.  He actually paused and looked at me like I was speaking a foreign language.  We had just been talking in English, and he was entirely capable of carrying on his end of the conversation.  But that simple question threw him for a loop.   I grabbed the boarding pass out of his and a read his name aloud.  Again - deer in the headlights look.  He finally gives me a yes, and I go figure out the issue.  I later learned it was a computer error (duh) and got him another seat.  I also later learned it was a light flight and I could have had him wait and just pick an open seat.  Why hadn't I thought of that?  Oh, yeah.  I was new and clueless.

We finally get through boarding, the demo and actually are in the air for Denver.  Now it was supposed to be easy.  Here I am at row 15 on the forward end of the cart serving drinks.  "May I get you something to drink?" I ask the gentleman in 15 D.  "A diet coke, please."  (I later learn "please" and "thank you" are often omitted from requests to flight attendants.)  No problem - I grab a glass, fill it with ice, pop open the can and start to hand it to the passenger.  I drop the can on the floor.  Immediately Old Faithful erupts from the can and sprays all the way to the ceiling.  Rather than leave the can, I scoop it up from the floor and proceed to spray a 5 row area with Diet Coke.  Everything and everyone was covered - save the flight attendant on opposite side of the cart.  He saw what was happening and RAN to the aft galley laughing hysterically.  Meanwhile I am all alone with my cart, an empty can of Diet Coke, and a lot of pissed off passengers.  I stand there and don't know what to say.  I try to apologize and get yelled at by several passengers.  I'm called stupid and clumsy.  I want to cry.  Then the gentleman (he truly was) in 15 D calmly asks how long I've been flying.  My reply, "How long have we been in the air?"  That one simple sentence changed every one's attitude.  They immediately became nice and well mannered.  It no longer mattered that they were soaked with Diet Coke.  They said it was OK and that they would dry.  Wow...  I quickly learned to use the new hire line whenever anything went wrong.  It was my, albeit temporary, get out of jail free card.  Hallelujah...

The Truth Be Told

Initial Flight Attendant training is anything but ordinary.  Nothing can prepare you for the experience.  I made life-long friends during this time.  I also managed to piss off a few people enough to last a life time.  Where do I begin...?

It's all a blur of weight checks, proficiency checks (emergency equipment uses, first-aid, aircraft evacuations) all the things we are trained for "in case" something happens.  Interestingly enough we were shown a video on aircraft crashes the first day - three people elected to leave training after viewing that.  Really?  What did you think we were being trained for - looking great walking through the airport!  I guess it was to scare the bejesus out of the clueless people - or the ones who would freeze when the slightest thing went wrong.  It didn't get all of them out of the way.  Some managed to hid and are now flying the skies with me.

Ditching was a fun day - we got to jump in an unheated pool (it was December) fully clothed and climb into a life raft.  We froze our butts off - but that wouldn't compare to the real temps in the North Atlantic if we were flying to London.  And it would be in the middle of the night...  There's a reality check for you.

Emergency evacuations were truly a mind boggling experience.  There are "cabin trainers" that can mimic smoke, fire, landing gear failure in any combination.  You've never seen dark until you are in an aircraft cabin filled with smoke.  Trust me on that one.  The adrenaline was the ONLY thing that got me through that day.  But looking back, it was truly a bonding experience for all of us in the training class.  I have every confidence I can evacuate an aircraft - I just hope I never have to find out.

Graduation day was upon us then we were being thrown to the wolves in New York.  If we knew what was ahead, I don't know how many of us would have followed through with the dream.  The ignorance factor helped me stick it out.  Had I known the reality of my next 2 years, I may have only lasted a few months.  But 21+ years later, I am still here.  I'll have to be dragged down the aisle kicking and screaming to leave this life behind.

The real adventure was just around the corner...and is still alive and well with every trip.  Whenever I put on my uniform, I never know what is going to happen, be it good, bad, or down right hilarious.  I just try to keep an open mind and very closed mouth.