Here I was - newly trained and eager to fly. I was ready to see the world and live the glamorous life. Boy was I quickly given a reality check. My first day as an official flight attendant I got airport standby. It's anything but glamorous. Let me back up...
Right out of training you are the new hires/newbies/fresh meat. Whatever the term it boils down to you are clueless and everyone (including seasoned travellers) know it. I was on reserve (on call - you only know the days you are on call - you don't know anything else) and anxiously awaiting my first assignment. I get airport standby. No flights - no fantastic layover in Honolulu - nothing. I get to go to the airport and sit in the flight attendant lounge for 5 hours. Yes, I said 5 hours. It's standard procedure for scheduling to have 3-9 reserve flight attendants sitting in the lounge for the "just in case" situations. Sometimes it's great, sometimes not so much. My first time I got a flight from New York to Denver. Not too terrible actually. My crew was fantastic but very senior (EVERYONE was senior to me at this point).
I get on the plane, stow my luggage and get ready to board. I am so excited! Then the gates of Hell open and boarding commences. Oh my gawd. It was utter chaos. People had no idea where to sit (it was assigned seating), where to put luggage (um, overhead bin perhaps), and one guy didn't know his name - seriously. We had a seat dupe (two people assigned the same seat) and I asked the man his name. He actually paused and looked at me like I was speaking a foreign language. We had just been talking in English, and he was entirely capable of carrying on his end of the conversation. But that simple question threw him for a loop. I grabbed the boarding pass out of his and a read his name aloud. Again - deer in the headlights look. He finally gives me a yes, and I go figure out the issue. I later learned it was a computer error (duh) and got him another seat. I also later learned it was a light flight and I could have had him wait and just pick an open seat. Why hadn't I thought of that? Oh, yeah. I was new and clueless.
We finally get through boarding, the demo and actually are in the air for Denver. Now it was supposed to be easy. Here I am at row 15 on the forward end of the cart serving drinks. "May I get you something to drink?" I ask the gentleman in 15 D. "A diet coke, please." (I later learn "please" and "thank you" are often omitted from requests to flight attendants.) No problem - I grab a glass, fill it with ice, pop open the can and start to hand it to the passenger. I drop the can on the floor. Immediately Old Faithful erupts from the can and sprays all the way to the ceiling. Rather than leave the can, I scoop it up from the floor and proceed to spray a 5 row area with Diet Coke. Everything and everyone was covered - save the flight attendant on opposite side of the cart. He saw what was happening and RAN to the aft galley laughing hysterically. Meanwhile I am all alone with my cart, an empty can of Diet Coke, and a lot of pissed off passengers. I stand there and don't know what to say. I try to apologize and get yelled at by several passengers. I'm called stupid and clumsy. I want to cry. Then the gentleman (he truly was) in 15 D calmly asks how long I've been flying. My reply, "How long have we been in the air?" That one simple sentence changed every one's attitude. They immediately became nice and well mannered. It no longer mattered that they were soaked with Diet Coke. They said it was OK and that they would dry. Wow... I quickly learned to use the new hire line whenever anything went wrong. It was my, albeit temporary, get out of jail free card. Hallelujah...
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